I did get a chance to spend time with him though, which was great. What struck me most in those conversations was the way in which my Dad is living totally in the NOW. Yes he is confused about the past and his location, but his own immediate past means nothing to him. All that matters is where he is NOW, who he is talking to NOW, who is holding his hand, laughing with his jokes, helping him dress.....NOW. It is Zen-like I suppose and made me think about the nature of time, eternity and our experience of it. Lots of philosophies talk about mindfulness and the need to be aware of the present moment as all we have. Even in Christian theology eternity is outwith time.
That is where my Dad is now. The moment is all - yes the past is swirling around him, but he is really only affected by what is right here right now. It is a lesson. Most of my life is spent worrying about work or family, busy with plans and regrets, but the NOW can pass me by. My Dad does not have that problem, but his NOW is a difficult situation. I need to grab the NOW and live it.
Related to all this was a post that Nigel put up today abou the way in which old people in Care Homes are chronically starved of sunlight. They need their D.
I would not normally give people cakes, pastries and sugary drinks. I think crap food is a huge problem responsible for many health issues. However now I happily give my Dad cakes and pastries - he enjoys them and it is too late now for him.