Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Robb Wolf's Paleo Solution - spoof

I love Robb Wolf's paleo solution podcasts. I have listened to them all. Every week downloading it and listening on my way to and from work on Tuesday or Wednesday as soon as I get it. But sometimes I wonder if there is anything left for them to say. Still I always look forward to listening to them (and still miss Andy Deas)

>So Dude, what's happening?

>>Hey the sun is shining in Chico! I'm stoked! Sweet. What a gig man.

>You been busy?

>>Rollin on the mat with some jits, learning some MovNat with Erwan. Actually speaking now from a motel in DC where I am doing a seminar with Xfit. Had a great time. Bit of a gluten hit in a restaurant but over it now. Tired man, dragging my sorry butt through this.

>Wow man. Legit. Any more work on the website?

>>Amber is developing a new interactive approach - we are transcribing the old podcasts and then Andy D will read them personally to you in your car as you drive to work. It will be awesome. What about you Gregg / Andy?

>I am so tired man. Too much coffee. Been hitting the snatch balance moves pretty hard working on getting under the bar. No metcon.

>>Yeah. Caffeine is cool. Gluten is death.  Metcon sucks.

>Word! Time for some questions?

>>Hit it!


Here is one from Cindy

Robb. You are awesome. I have read your book and for the last 3 days I have been 73.5% paleo. Although I am still having some quinoa and soy milk. Ok maybe 64.2% compliance. I am 5'6" and 120lb. Also doing Crossfit 7 days a week plus yoga and am training for a triathlon. I have been experiencing some concerns with tiredness. I have some thyroid issues and my gall bladder and spleen removed after a period of veganism. Also I had a finger amputated after a car crash. Is this OK? :-) Also what about cheat days? and booze?
>>Sheesh! You need to get this dialed in with all your ducks in a row there Cindy. I am shooting for 100% grain, legume dairy free for 30 days and see if you look / feel and perform better. There are serious lectin issues there. Major, major cortisol shenanigans there too.  Any thoughts Greg?

>It might be about her snatch.  What about metabolic derangement Robb?

>>Definitely. She needs to read Lights Out. 9 hours sleep a night in a pitch black room. Maybe more.

>What about those enzymes Robb?

>>Dude I think definitely some ox bile, Now Food Superenzymes are always good.

>What about the training Robb?

>>Man, she is seriously over-reaching. Lift some weights and walk a little. Look back at some old school Art DeVany hierarchical training. That guy has it dialed in. This sort of training is killing people. Crossfit needs some basic periodisation.

>Diet Robb?

>>OK. lowish carb, well carbs correlated to activity levels. You need some carbs in the post workout window - yams, sweet potatoes - I've been having some good results with some locally sourced tapioca pudding.

>Will this diet get her pregnant Robb?

>>Dude - 30 days of this and she will be carrying a little bugger.

>The finger Robb?

>>Well weird, but it you do some Google-Fu for "finger" and "hyperinsulinemia" and "gluten" there are a number of studies out there which are seeing high activation of the innate immune system - thinking Th1 here - coupled with some of that lectin shit and insulin what-not leading to the loss of fingers. Scientists are not linking it yet, but in an email I had from Loren Cordain we were discussing this paper from a Spanish study where going wheat free had grown back some limbs. In sheep.

The spleen and gall bladder I think probably just shrivelled due to gluten and caused the car crash.  It is always the gluten bro'



>That is dialed in man. 

Cheat day?

>>Greg we always say, no hookers and cocaine binge. 


>>NorCal margaritas are the mega legit way to get your head change dude.

>Well Cindy. Try it out. Let us know how it goes.  Now the next question.....this is from "paleogeek" from Dublin Ireland - nice handle there fella - Robb, I am confused about fish oil......

and so it goes on!  I do love these guys.


Mikkel Freltoft Krogsholm said...

Hahaha So funny !! :)

Anonymous said...

Cool spoof. Incidentally the thing I always notice Robb saying is "what-not". Like "was experimenting with soaked grains and whatnot...", "then tried some kettle-bell variations and what-not...", etc. Anyway, thanks for the laugh.

Chris said...


Chris said...

actually as much as anything it is meant to be a spoof on some of the questions that they get

Guy Incognito said...

That is fantastic. When I read it, I hear their voices.

PJNOIR said...

whores not Paleo??? Funny stuff , I know Robb peed himself laughing.

Chuck said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chuck said...

that is dead on.....hilarious! btw, andy deas just dropped off the podcast without any real explanation or farewell. seems a little weird after being there from day one and doing 50 or 60 shows with robb. did anyone else find that strange? and i also haven't seen much chatter about it elsewhere.

Anthony DiSante said...

This is seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read. It's so spot-on. I love Robb & Andy, and I'm sure they're busting up laughing at this too.

PJNOIR said...

After I lost my iPod, I have fallen behind in listening to the podcasts on a regular bases, what happen to Andy?

David Csonka said...

I almost thought that was a transcript of the real thing! Funny stuff :D

Matt said...

You forgot one of the classic buzzwords!


MAS said...

Standing ovation!

Well done.

Andy said...

Hilarious. Us 6 listeners can't be wrong

Dave Martindale said...

I love it! I always find myself trying to predict how he'll answer questions. And ya, what happened to Andy?

Amy said...

I love Robb's podcast, and this made me laugh so hard! Especially "30 days of this and she will be carrying a little bugger."

No mention of Keystone the gato?

Anonymous said...

Holy cats that is hilarious!

Tara said...

Brilliant! I could hear them saying this in my brain, just like they do when I listen to them on my iPod. Kinda' creepy actually.

julianne said...

That is seriously funny, I nearly peed myself. Thanks

Aaron Blaisdell said...

Tears were streaming down my face as I was standing in line at the Coffee Bean reading this on my iPhone. The other customers must have been wondering what drug I was on. Reading your spoof was like doing metcon! Thanks for the WOD!

Jose said...

I'm a paleo from Uruguay. Listening to spoken English is not an easy task for me, and Rob's pronunciation/diction is ugly! :) Anyway, I don't miss any episode of the podcast!

Chris said...

Glad you all found it funny. It just struck me the other day how most of it has now been said! But I still love listening.

No idea what happened to Andy D - I miss him. Greg is getting into his stride now though.

Feel free to note any more catch phrases that i gads etc

Anonymous said...

:) I so enjoyed this! LOL with
tears dropping!

I look forward to the podcast too.

Anonymous said...

Strangely, Andy is no longer on the list of coaches on the Norcal site. Wonder what happened!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Very funny, thanks for that! Found this while searching for NOW Foods Super Enzyme tablets after listening to the podcast.
Two phrases that always jump out at me are "leaning out" and "grass-fed beef."