Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Back

So I am back to work and back to "normal" life after a tough couple of weeks.  For the last 6 months most of my life has been focussed on planning the elections in Edinburgh.  Polling on 3 May and the count on 4 May.  320,000 voters over 62,000 postal voters, 340 polling stations, 17 wards, 127 candidates.  Then on 2 May I was called to my Dad's bedside and I had to walk away from it all.  I drove south for 4 hours and then with my family sat with him for 48 hours until he died.  For most of that time I held his hand and talked to him.   When I arrived he was conscious and he saw me, smiled and tried to talk.

When I visited he would always hate it when I left to return to Scotland.  This time when I got to the hospital I told him that I was not going to leave him anymore, ever.  I remained there with him then.  And he died.  Finally all the confusion, the weakness was gone.  He was at rest.  I was with him all the time.

Now all seems a little empty.  After a long and hard week of administration - registering the death, organising the funeral, sorting out the will - I returned to Scotland.  The election was over.  All the drama finished with and I had missed it all.  I feel strangely dislocated from it.

And this blog....I will start posting things again, but at the moment it all seems a little frivolous.

Thanks for all the messages of support.

5 comments:

Kevin said...

Chris, I feared this might be the case when I had not seen any posts from you in a while. Whatever condolences a stranger on the internet can offer, I offer mine to you and your family. Regardless of your future blogging habits, please know your past work has been greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Internet Stranger (a.k.a. Kevin)

Aileen said...

Good to have you back. I lost my Mum two years ago after 8 years in a nursing home with dementia and a multitude of other problems. It really was a blessing when she died, she had no quality of life for a long while. Its hard watching them decline and there's so little you can do. Best wishes Aileen

KD said...

Best wishes Chris and I'm sorry about your father. You're right to take a step back and focus on what's important.

FeelGoodEating said...

Chris,

Get to the hills and quick!
Love the shit out of your mate!!!!!!!

One of the greatest things you can hope to accomplish in this life is true detachment. When you go through things like you just have been through, you get a REAL feel for it. Savor it and treasure it.....
Life is different now you think but it's NOT. It always has been the same and always will be.
Sobering yes, but liberating and extremely comforting if you accept it.

Hope that is not too cryptic.

Enjoy every second and keep talking to your dad....he's still around just in different form.

Sending you nothing but good thoughts.

Marc

Sifter said...

Heartfelt condolences to you and your family, and may the rest of the year bring you only good news and happiness. Sifter.